(Review) Gumback Express: Mind the Gap!

I find certain things...sounds, tastes, feelings...to be absolutely grating.  Like the smell and taste of celery.  Most find it crisp, refreshing, and a perfect companion to a full set of buffalo wings.  To me, it smells and tastes like I'm eating glue covered paper and to be quite honest, makes me want to vomit.  That also counts for the sound of styrofoam squeaking together, strobe lights, and this bizarre fear of puppetronics (I puked once while watching an episode of Pee Wee's Playhouse as a kid and haven't really been able to stomach them since).  All of these things drive me absolutely insane!  We all have those little quirks, and I have quite a few.  Those weird things that make us tick and those weird things that people find interesting or downright annoying.

Sometimes while at work, I'll find some customers staring down the lotions as if they were sprouting mushrooms right out of the pots.  "Looking for a new lotion?" I'll say, casually strolling over to them with a smile on my face.  "Oh no," they'll say, shaking their head and smiling.  "I never use lotion!"  And it's during that interaction where I'll feel my smile get a little tighter and the right corner of my eye seize up in a minuscule twitch.  Another one of my pet peeves.  I, for the life of me, absolutely CAN'T understand how people don't use lotion after a shower.  That tight, itchy feeling my skin gets after a shower has me scrambling for my Charity Pot once I've toweled myself dry.  And with the cold weather on the way, it's only going to get worse.  That's why I always find myself upping the moisture game when it comes to my shower wash to help!

A now discontinued item, Bossman managed to snag one of these and after deciding it wasn't for him, gave it to me instead.  Such a generous man that Bossman is.  I believe his exact words were "do you want this?  I think it smells like dog food."  And to clarify, it doesn't smell like dog food.  However I did have my reservations, as this shower smoothie was banana scented, and I'm not too hot on bananas.

But after one whiff, I decided I enjoyed the scent, smelling more like the sweet almond bread my dear Mama Llama will sometimes make for me when I go home for a visit.  A lot more liquidy than the normal shower smoothies like Turkish Delight and Dreamwash, Gumback Express not only smelled like almond bread, but looked exactly like it (in batter form at least).  And due to the liquid form, I was a bit confused as to the best way to use it.  Should I put it on a loofah?  Dump it on the parts that need a good scrubbing?  Put it in a bread pan and bake at 350 for 25 minutes?  Well I tried the first bit at least and found the ground almond shells got stuck in the netting, so that ended quite quick.  The best way for me to use this interesting product was to scoop a bit in my hand and rub it on, giving myself the benefits of a great moisturizing scrub and a wash as well!

While this shower smoothie made me feel super luxurious and soft, I found that sweet almond bread scent had a bit of an after scent as well (like after taste, you know?  Is after scent even a thing?  Because if it isn't I'm making it a thing as of riiiiiight...now).  I noticed the scent on my skin soon went a bit off, as if it went a bit sour.  That could've been what Bossman had been talking about, and I could definitely see where it would deter him.  But as someone who soon butters themself up with lotion after a shower, I didn't think too much of it.

And overall, Gumback Express definitely made me feel soft and clean, and that itchy, dry and tight feeling I get after getting out of the shower and patting dry was nowhere near as intense as it had been in the past.  However, that afterscent is still something that deters me a bit, so I'm a bit conflicted as to whether I would use it again.  But if this smoothie ever makes a return via the Kitchen, I suggest picking up a pot (and resisting the urge to bake it in an oven!)

**Gumback Express is certified Vegan

(Review) Don't Look At Me: Da Ba Dee Da Ba Die

If there's one part of my life that I'm glad is over, it's the ravages of puberty.  Once in a while I'll reflect on my teen years and remember the frizzy hair, the braces, the odd paunch of baby fat here and there, but most importantly, I remember the acne.  While my skin wasn't nearly as bad as some of my friends, it was still bad enough for me to be embarrassed by it.  I remember gazing in the mirror after washing my face in the morning, seeing what new hellish red abominations had popped up onto my face as I slept.  My mom, ever vigilant on my skincare routine (I largely credit her with my obsession with it, as well as my good skin!) had me try everything, from products high end to end of the line, antibiotics, prescription creams, even the vile smelling Proactiv line.  While some products worked temporarily, nothing was ever a permanent fix.  Only when I was out of high school and a year or two older did my skin start to clear up.

Now that high school is a distant memory covered in scene kid hair extensions. old Hot Topic t-shirts, and more regrets than I care to count, my skin for the most part is clear and pristine.  Every so often I'll get a few breakouts here and there, but nothing too terrible.  But this past week, when I woke up bright and early for work, I took one look in the mirror and was shocked to find breakouts everywhere!

Don't Look at Me is one of two new fresh face masks available from Lush (in-store only!).  Inspired by the (really really bizarre) song of the same name by the band The Lovely Eggs (eggs are quite lovely, aren't they?), Don't Look At Me is an obscenely bright blue mask that smells remarkably like tomato salsa (a good thing, because who in their right mind doesn't like salsa!?).  Described as "Cupcake mask for grown ups," Don't Look At Me has tons of lemon juice in it to brighten, cleanse, and soak up oil, kaolin to clean out what ails your skin, and ground rice for some awesome scrubby action.

I couldn't believe my skin's timing with the release of these once Oxford Street exclusives, so I snagged five black pots from my garbage bag full of empties (no I'm not joking) and snagged one after my shift.  During a long luxurious bath, I cracked open the pot, scooped out the refreshingly blue goop, and slathered my skin with a good coat of it.  Being in a hot bath, this cooled me right down and I sunk back with my book and let the mask do its task. 

Apologies for the derp face

Now, a little prior history about my skin.  It's mainly combo-dry, but in the humid climate where I dwell during summer, it gets much more oily, especially on my forehead.  My breakouts are usually hormonal and are centered around my nose and cheeks, but every so often I'll get a painful cystic bump on my chin (you know...for fun).  When I'm talking about how I had a massive breakout, I'm talking all of the above seemed to have hit me overnight (again...for fun!).  When the mask was about 75% dry, I splashed my face with water and massaged the ground rice into my skin before finally rinsing my skin clean and patting it dry.  When I wiped the remaining bits of blue away, I actually remember stepping back from the mirror a bit and letting out a Fonz-esque " 'eyyyyyyyyy" when looking at my skin!  While Don't Look at Me didn't make everything disappear, I could tell a HUGE difference when it came to my red, broken out skin!  The tone and texture of my skin was more even and bright, and the red areas were a tad more dulled down.  This made me extremely happy, as red breakouts on my pale skin stick out like crazy, and cause me quite a bit of embarrassment, even when makeup or color correcting can't cover it.  

Pretty sure if you threw compounder Dan in a pit with my coworkers, they'd all be fighting over him.  We have a thing for beards at my shop ;)

Overall, Don't Look at Me after one use became my all time favorite fresh mask.  I've used it twice more since that first time and each time I've been blown away with my skin after I wash it away.  While I do love the bright blue color, the only downside to it I feel is that if you have any dried skin on your face, the pigment kind of gets absorbed by it so you have some dull blue looking flecks of skin.  I feel as though it's good for any skin type, although you might want to be careful if you're sensitive, since the lemon oil might be a bit much.  The ground rice made for a gentle but effective scrub and the fresh scent was an added bonus to the near miraculous power of this mask.  After using this mask, I think you'll all be saying...DO...look at me!  Am I RIGHT?!

...terrible jokes are awesome!

 *** Don't Look At Me is certified Vegan

(Review) Rose Bombshell: Bombs are the New Bouquets

There's nothing I love more than a pamper day.  Just a simple day off in your pajamas sipping tea, reading a book, and polishing and primping yourself from head to toe.  Back during the holidays and the "Bath Bomb Rush of 'Aught 14" (aka the "galaxy bomb" going viral on Twitter, which REALLY bumped up sales) a pamper day was all I could dream about.  I would sit my sleep deprived self in the back room on my lunch break, hunched up with my microwaved soup squished between mounds of boxes dreaming of my tub, warm and colorful and filled with bubbles, a mask on my face and a treatment in my hair.  I would have an ice cold drink, a snack, and a good book at my side, and oh it would be bliss!  Then one of my coworkers would fling open the back door, hitting either my knee or my back, frantically looking for a box of bath bombs that we most likely didn't have.  And my dream would be squashed and I would be rudely thrown back into my bathless reality.  Oh well, at least I had my soup!

Now that the holidays and the retail rush has passed, and people in the midwest are stumbling out of their houses after a long winter, business has slowed down.  My guess is they're too busy figuring out what the warm yellow ball in the sky is (spoiler alert: it's the sun).  And because business has slowed down, it means I get some down time to focus on me and relax!  So a few days ago, I planned the biggest, most luxurious pamper day in all of pamper-dome!  I'm talking hair treatments, painfully plucking my brows into a sassy arch, manis and pedis to make my hands sparkle and my feet look less atrocious, and of course, a bath.  Because duh...baths.

 

Rose Bombshell is a limited edition bath bomb released just for Mother's Day!  Seeing as Mama Llama doesn't favor baths, I'm keeping this guy all to myself!  The perfume included is a beautiful blend of rosewood, rose oil, and orange flower absolute.  The rose petals included in the middle are hand picked from fresh roses and dried in house, which is something I find pretty cool!  Normally I dislike "stuff" in my bath bombs, but hearing the raves about this bath bomb from my coworkers, I thought I'd give this one a shot.  The soy milk among the floral bouquet gives Rose Bombshell a soothing element while the scoop of sea salt gives it a nice cleansing element.

 

I have to admit that this bath bomb proved to me that opposites can, and will attract.  I'm not one for floral scents, my skin is sensitive to sea salt, I don't like "stuff" in my bath, and soy milk makes my stomach hurt (obviously I wouldn't be drinking it...but I just needed one more thing to add to my grudge list).  However, when I first gave this bomb a sniff, I was intrigued.  It wasn't overly floral and it definitely wasn't a strong scent.  It obviously had a touch of floral to it, but to me it smelled powdery...slightly woodsy too.  I feel like the orange flower absolute gave it more of an earthy tone and took away any strong floral scent.  When I popped this into my tub, it fizzed into a creamy white foam, until a raspberry colored froth appeared followed by a smart line of rose petals marching their way out.  The last time I used a bath bomb with flowers in it, it was one of the most skin crawling, uncomfortable experiences I've had as a bath taker (that's a review for another day though).  So in order to see if the texture was different, I picked up a petal and to my surprise, it was like velvet!  Turns out that the technique they use to dry these petals is meant to have them rehydrate once they hit the water.  It was like literal fresh rose petals were sprinkled in my bath!  I was relieved and now excited to start my bath, which I will say left me super soft and smelling woodsy and powder light.

Overall Rose Bombshell was a pleasant surprise in my bathtub.  From hesitantly opening my staff box and staring at it with unease, to soaking in a pink lemonade colored bath of rose petals with glee, my opinion on this bomb took a total 180 when my toe first hit the steaming hot water.  I'm glad I enjoyed my sprinkled petal soak, because I always tell my customers and anyone interested in Lush to come in with an open mind.  My hatred for jasmine scented products is scathing, but I still will sniff things with jasmine in it on the off chance that I might like it.  I mean most of the time I don't, but it's the principle of the matter.  Keep an open mind and an open sniffer, and you might find something you love that you never thought you'd even like!

***Rose Bombshell is certified Vegan

(Review) Buche de Noel: Have Your Cake and Wash Your Face With it Too

Ever since I can remember, my mother has been nuts about skincare.  I remember I would sit in her bathroom on the edge of her tub, watching her apply her washes and creams, massaging them gently into her skin.  Every so often if I were home sick or feeling mischievous, I'd root through her cosmetics, opening jars and flinging powders, and the only telltale sign that I had been there would be tiny terra cotta handprints on the lavender-gray countertop.  Of course she would tell me not to go into her things again...and of course I never listened.  I was a precocious little scamp ;)

As I grew older, my mom taught my younger sister and I all about good hygiene, skincare being one of her main focuses.  When I was nine she bought me a gentle, drugstore face wash and a light, mild moisturizer and explained to me the benefits of good skincare.  At first I fought her.  Washing my face in the morning cut WAY too far into my pre-school cartoon time, and my bangs always got wet.  But again, with age, experience, and the discovery of headbands, I grew to love washing my face.  Not only skincare, but showering and bathing in general are like a morning meditation for me.  It helps me wake up and prepare for the big bad world outside.  And a nice hot bath at the end of my day helps me re-center, wind down, and have my stresses melt away.  Skincare does the same for me as well, and ever since I started working at Lush, I've fallen head over heels for their skincare.  While bath bombs and bubble bars from Lush are all well and good, I feel like the hair and skincare products don't get the recognition they deserve

Buche de Noel is a limited edition cleansing roll that only comes out for Christmas.  Described as a more moisturizing form of Angels on Bare Skin, Buche de Noel was inspired by and named after the holiday cake of the same name, and is meant to look like a yule log.  Buche packs in dried cranberries, ground almonds, and brandy, which sounds good enough to eat!  But there's also kaolin for deep cleansing, cocoa butter and soy glycerine for supreme hydration!  Like all cleansing rolls, these can also be used on the body.  Most cleansing rolls have ground almonds included for a nice scrub!  These babies come to the store wrapped in recycled cardboard and recyclable wrappings.  When unrolled from their packaging, they look like uncut swiss rolls, one big log of face cleansing goodness.  Then we as Lush employees weigh, cut, and pot these babies so everyone can enjoy them!

When my Let the Good Times Roll ran out, I quickly snagged a pot of this stuff, curious about it since Bossman hates it with a passion ("it just doesn't make sense!" he says, emphasizing his point with a dramatic wave of arms.  "Why bring out a cleanser JUST for Christmas?!").  I can definitely see his point of view, but that's one thing I love about Lush.  I'm a very non-commitable person when it comes to anything and everything (my romantic history is a travesty and clear example of such).  I like to switch things up lest I get bored, and I found a great opportunity with Buche! 

To me, Buche de Noel smells like the delicious almond bread my mom will sometimes bake (which she hasn't done in a while...I should ask her to bake me a loaf the next time I'm home!) with a slight seaweed scent that doesn't spoil the overall scent.  The texture and even appearance are very similar to Angels on Bare Skin, and the ability to mix it into a paste was similar as well.  Since Buche has a very crumbly consistency, one needs to pack the cleansing roll quite tightly as to not have chunks fly everywhere when you mix it into a paste.  I enjoy it though.  I'm one of those people that savors a shower, staying in as long as time and hot water will allow, and this only adds to my experience.  So I took a chunk the size of a chickpea, added water, vigorously mixed it into a face, and washed my face.  The ground almonds were soft, but still scrubby enough to leave me feeling invigorated, and the smell was intoxicating and made me hungry.  When I rinsed my skin felt very soft and supple, but not like there was a layer of something making it feeling that way.  My skin looked bright and fresh and felt pillowy soft. 

With time and continued use, I found Buche de Noel made my skin soft, bright, even, and lessened the impact of my monthly hormonal breakouts (I enjoy being a girl).  While I am bummed this only comes out once a year, it gives me another reason to look forward to Christmas at Lush!  I highly recommend anyone who needs a bit of extra moisture and care in the dry winter months pick up a pot of this.  It's very much worth it!

**Buche de Noel is certified Vegan

**BONUS COMMENT QUESTION!!  If you could make any Christmas product year round, which would it be?  Remember to comment and subscribe!**

(Review) Melting Snowman: No I Don't Wanna Build a Snowman, Stop Asking Me

I have no idea what my deal has been lately.  Every part of my body has been so itchy lately I feel like I should be a human sized cat scratching post.  While lounging around on one of my rare days off, playing a video game on my newly purchased Playstation 4 (money well spent I might add), I had to pause the game multiple times in order to satisfy the scratchy irritation that was mainly on my legs.  I actually scratched myself to the point of bleeding.  Well what's a little blood if I get some kind of momentary relief from this hell?!  My skin dries out in the winter, but it's NEVER been this bad.  The recent polar vortex that's whipped through my town in a flurry of snow and ice might have something to do with it, or the fact that I've been wearing thick, knee high stockings underneath my work leggings.  Or maybe life just hates me and doesn't want me to have nice things, I have no idea.  But amidst killing a hoard of renegade mages, I put down my controller and sighed.  Time for a bath with a much needed bath melt.

 

Melting Snowman was a fleeting bath melt that my store had for quite a short time.  Not only was it a huge seller, but it sold extremely fast and was like we never had it after our supply was gone.  I was lucky enough to receive one in my staff box, and I was in love at first whiff.  The cinnamon and clove scent is something I love very much, very spicy and not too sweet, so it didn't remind me of bathing in a big, sticky cinnamon bun (which I have no problem eating.  Bathing in...totally different story).  It's actually the scent of Swedish mulled wine, but to me it just smells like chocolate and cinnamon. 

It also surprised me to learn that this little guy contains patchouli, which I couldn't smell at all!  I didn't even know that until I dipped into my training manual and found it listed underneath the ingredients!  I know patchouli is one of those love it or hate it smells (that I love a lot) but don't let that scare you off if you don't like it.  You can't smell it at all!  And of course, what would a bath melt be without lots of nourishing butters and oils like cocoa, shea, and almond to make you nice and soft.

 

Melting Snowman has a bit of baking soda included so when you pop it in your bath it sinks right to the bottom and fizzes.  Meanwhile I flitted around my tub with my camera, snapping pictures for this blog entry and pausing every so often to scratch my legs like a cricket singing his mating song.  When I pulled Melting Snowman from the depths of the tub, I couldn't help but laugh at his eyes and buttons melting everywhere.  His eyes and buttons if you didn't know are vegan chocolate chips, which actually taste quite nice!  The remnants left little brown flecks floating on top of the creamy white water which I prefer to see as freckles and not as something else (you guys are gross).  After he was all gone ("and he waved goodbye saying "don't you cry, I'll be back again someday!") I popped a Fizzbanger bath bomb into the water to give a bit of color and amp up the spiciness of the cinnamon.  This is a cocktail I like to call "The Nostril Stinger" and Holly Golightly bubble bar can be added for more intensity and bubbles!

KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEE

 Once I sat in my tub I was immediately given a massive amount of relief when the softening butters coated my legs in a layer of warm, cozy, and slightly spicy moisture.  The scent was to DIE for (I LOVE cinnamon) and my bath was nice and hot.  I cracked open my book and enjoyed my spicy soak.

When I got out my legs felt so much softer and I didn't even need any body lotion.  My legs, being currently the driest part of my body soaked everything up immediately while my arms and torso needed a bit of massaging since some of the oils were still sitting on my skin.  It left me feeling soft and not greasy and the scent really stuck!

Overall I was very pleased with this product.  It has to be one of my favorites from the holiday range and something I really really hope they bring back next year!  Next time I'm prying out one of those vegan chocolate chips and eating it...just so you know ;)