Thursday, October 29, 2015

(Review) Gumback Express: Mind the Gap!

I find certain things...sounds, tastes, be absolutely grating.  Like the smell and taste of celery.  Most find it crisp, refreshing, and a perfect companion to a full set of buffalo wings.  To me, it smells and tastes like I'm eating glue covered paper and to be quite honest, makes me want to vomit.  That also counts for the sound of styrofoam squeaking together, strobe lights, and this bizarre fear of puppetronics (I puked once while watching an episode of Pee Wee's Playhouse as a kid and haven't really been able to stomach them since).  All of these things drive me absolutely insane!  We all have those little quirks, and I have quite a few.  Those weird things that make us tick and those weird things that people find interesting or downright annoying.

Sometimes while at work, I'll find some customers staring down the lotions as if they were sprouting mushrooms right out of the pots.  "Looking for a new lotion?" I'll say, casually strolling over to them with a smile on my face.  "Oh no," they'll say, shaking their head and smiling.  "I never use lotion!"  And it's during that interaction where I'll feel my smile get a little tighter and the right corner of my eye seize up in a minuscule twitch.  Another one of my pet peeves.  I, for the life of me, absolutely CAN'T understand how people don't use lotion after a shower.  That tight, itchy feeling my skin gets after a shower has me scrambling for my Charity Pot once I've toweled myself dry.  And with the cold weather on the way, it's only going to get worse.  That's why I always find myself upping the moisture game when it comes to my shower wash to help!

A now discontinued item, Bossman managed to snag one of these and after deciding it wasn't for him, gave it to me instead.  Such a generous man that Bossman is.  I believe his exact words were "do you want this?  I think it smells like dog food."  And to clarify, it doesn't smell like dog food.  However I did have my reservations, as this shower smoothie was banana scented, and I'm not too hot on bananas.

But after one whiff, I decided I enjoyed the scent, smelling more like the sweet almond bread my dear Mama Llama will sometimes make for me when I go home for a visit.  A lot more liquidy than the normal shower smoothies like Turkish Delight and Dreamwash, Gumback Express not only smelled like almond bread, but looked exactly like it (in batter form at least).  And due to the liquid form, I was a bit confused as to the best way to use it.  Should I put it on a loofah?  Dump it on the parts that need a good scrubbing?  Put it in a bread pan and bake at 350 for 25 minutes?  Well I tried the first bit at least and found the ground almond shells got stuck in the netting, so that ended quite quick.  The best way for me to use this interesting product was to scoop a bit in my hand and rub it on, giving myself the benefits of a great moisturizing scrub and a wash as well!

While this shower smoothie made me feel super luxurious and soft, I found that sweet almond bread scent had a bit of an after scent as well (like after taste, you know?  Is after scent even a thing?  Because if it isn't I'm making it a thing as of  I noticed the scent on my skin soon went a bit off, as if it went a bit sour.  That could've been what Bossman had been talking about, and I could definitely see where it would deter him.  But as someone who soon butters themself up with lotion after a shower, I didn't think too much of it.

And overall, Gumback Express definitely made me feel soft and clean, and that itchy, dry and tight feeling I get after getting out of the shower and patting dry was nowhere near as intense as it had been in the past.  However, that afterscent is still something that deters me a bit, so I'm a bit conflicted as to whether I would use it again.  But if this smoothie ever makes a return via the Kitchen, I suggest picking up a pot (and resisting the urge to bake it in an oven!)

**Gumback Express is certified Vegan

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